When we suffer from social anxiety, we often think we know what we are afraid of. We think we are afraid of being embarrassed by doing something or saying something stupid. We may be afraid that others might be judging us or disapproving of us-the way we look, the clothes we wear. The truth is that we are not afraid of any of these things. We are afraid of our feelings. We are afraid of fear!When we begin to have those anxious thoughts, we then get a pit in our stomach or a hot sensation-maybe we get sweaty or clammy- heat pounding- getting dizzy- and so on and so on. We start to experience the physical symptoms of our social anxiety. We experience these symptoms as a result of our thoughts and what we expect to happen. We are expecting to be judged or to get embarrassed. Our thoughts race and our bodies follow.
After experiencing the physical symptoms of social anxiety for the first time, we may then attribute those feelings and symptoms to what we are doing, who we were with, or the situation/gathering/function we were partaking in. What we are really doing is programming ourselves to fear.
We think that if we think about the situation or analyze that we can figure it out- that we can fix ourselves and not have those feelings or experience that fear again. Unfortunately, we then come across another situation that is similar to the first event and we start to think, “Oh No! What if it happens again? What If I lose control or get embarrassed?”
This of course triggers the physical symptoms of our social anxiety and here we go again. So you can easily see how we are actually afraid of the fear of being anxious or the fear of experiencing the symptoms of social anxiety rather than afraid of the situation itself, right?
This is the ongoing cycle of fear and anxiety. To break this cycle takes a great deal of work. You would think it would be easy, “Ok, so I’m really just afraid of experiencing anxiety, so next time I will just ignore it.” It’s not that easy. It took time to program your mind to be over anxious, it will also take time to program your mind to accept your anxiety and overcome your fears.
If you haven’t heard of Panic Away- this is a self-help program that walks you through the process of overcoming your social anxiety and really elaborates on what I have been blogging about all along. Panic-Away is a non-evasive program that has helped thousands of people recover from social anxiety. At the very least you should check out their website, you got nothing to lose, except your anxiety and fear!
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